The 700 Club

By: Maddy Meyer

“Did Simon start working again?” I typed into the chat. Jack and I had already been chatting for a while, hours even, but there was nothing else to do, so we kept at it. The sun had slowly been sinking in my window, but the mayor’s tech team couldn’t figure out the glitch with its projection, so it was an eerie green-yellow color. It made my room look like it was covered in mayonnaise. 

“No, he hasn’t been working for a week now.” The reply came back fast. “We have had to rely on the backup robots. Luckily we got Simon to get out the old Alexas right before he stopped working.” 

I felt for Jack, I did. If I didn’t have my own trusty robot assistant, Garfunkel, I don’t know what would happen. Garfunkel had been in charge of the household for a while now. Without him, we would have no food, no water, no bath time, and no extra dessert. Luckily, the chores would still get done, as electricity was a given all over the world now. Even if Garfunkel broke, the bed would still be made, the laundry would still be cleaned and folded, and the dishes would still be washed. 

I watched as dots began to fill up the screen again. A new message popped up. “Did you hear that broccoli shot up again? It's two hundred dollars now. And it’s the least expensive vegetable! It’s a good thing I don’t even like the suckers.” 

I chuckled behind the computer. I don’t know why my friend was surprised. It was basically unheard of that any fruit or vegetable would be under a hundred dollars these days. Everyone knew that when people sent out their robots to the store they only had to pick up fast food, bread, or dairy products, along with making a quick trip to the cereal aisle. That’s what was on Garfunkel’s list last week. That’s all that was on anyone's grocery shopping list these days. 

I typed back: “You know that ever since the government installed the New Diet we haven’t had to eat vegetables anymore!” Why do you even care?” I questioned my friend’s motives. Nobody really even thought about the old timey Farms anymore and vegetable production. They had been eradicated years ago, and more sophisticated food methods had prevailed. No one went outside anymore, of course, but nature wasn’t needed for humanity to thrive. It hadn’t been needed for a long time now. 

“I don’t know. But sometimes, Jill, don’t you miss how it used to be? Don’t you miss oak trees and running water and asparagus? Don’t you remember the times when people could look down and see their feet?” The text questioned me. 

I didn’t know how to answer that question. Of course I remembered the old days. But humanity has evolved. We didn’t need to be “fit” anymore. It was holding us back. Being fit meant we always had to be ready for disaster or movement. Now, we could always be comfortable and focus on becoming the biggest and most powerful creatures in the world. 

Another question came in. “Don’t you miss actually seeing people?”. Well, sure I did. Every once in a while. But I made sure to push those feelings down as deep as they would go. No one judged. No one saw anyone anymore! After the disease killed all the plants and even more people, we had decided as a society it was safer if we didn’t see one another. Sure, I hadn’t seen my son in weeks, but that wasn’t a problem. I could message him in a second! Our society needed nothing, so we wanted for nothing. 

I finally wrote back; “Jack what’s wrong? Where are these thoughts coming from? You know what could happen if anyone saw this chat thread. These kinds of thoughts are dangerous.” 

Jack and I had been friends for a long time. When you spend so much time on the internet, you learn to do some pretty cool things with it. This chat was private, it could only be seen by Jack and I and was protected with my computer skills. 

“Nothing. Forget about it. It’s just one of my spells. You know me, Jill. Always hanging on to the past.” That text sounded very melancholy. “Hey, I forgot to ask.” More text bubbles came in. “Did you make it in the 700 Club yet? You’ll have to sooner or later. You’re so close.” 

His text filled me with excitement. I had totally forgotten to tell him about my acceptance! I was finally catching up with everyone else. It had always been hard for me to put on weight, so getting this far meant a lot. 

“Yes!!!” I typed excitingly. “I just got my acceptance text from the 700 Club! I’m gonna try and hit 800 in a couple of weeks!”